Wednesday, May 09, 2012

I'm either brave or stupid

This year saw me enter a bold and brave new era of my life. I became a father. Jacques was born on the 5th of January. 

Being a parent has changed my perspective in a way I never could have understood before. I used to be a bit nervy, overly conscientious and easily stressed. 

Now it is as though all of my anxiety bubbles away in the back of my mind just for him. Work doesn't phase me anymore, money isn't a problem and people don't annoy me as much as they used to. My highs and lows in a day can often be a direct result of whether or not he was ok in the morning, or slept ok overnight.
I had a dream a week or so ago in which someone hurt my partner and Jacques. It was very nasty and in real life they would have been dead. My reaction in the dream was to pick up an axe and take revenge. My heart was racing and I had tears in my eyes when I was woken by my concerned partner.

The type of priority shift and the bravery you have to acquire when you bring a child into the world extends out to the rest of your life. You can and will do anything you want, because now you know you can create life. How hard can anything else be? 

Having realised this I have decided to write. Writing is something i always wanted to do. Although I write for work, and have written for radio and publication in the past, what i really want to do is write fiction.

I've written a lot in the past, but my first public airing, other than short story competitions when I was in high school, is an experiment. I'm tying to write rapidly like the pros. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who can write, but writing efficiently is what separates those who can make a name for themselves and those who spend a lifetime dreaming about one day publishing something.

So here goes my experiment. It's in blog format and won't be too long. If its any good once I'm done I'll do something else with it. At this stage I'm adding an entry, or chapter, every few days. Comment if you like or hate it. Be constructive if you can.

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